Only a few years back those who carried
Umbrellas were held to be legitimate butts. They were old fogies,
careful of their health, and so on; but now-a-days we are wiser.
Everybody has his Umbrella. It is both cheaper and better made than
of old; who, then, so poor he cannot afford one? To see a man going
out in the rain umbrella-less excites as much mirth as ever did the
sight of those who first--wiser than their generation--availed
themselves of this now universal shelter. Yet still a touch of the
amusing clings to the "Gamp," as it is sarcastically called. 'What
says Douglas Jerrold on the subject? "There are three things that no
man but a fool lends, or, having lent, is not in the most helpless
state of mental crassitude if he ever hopes to get back again. These
three things, my son, are--BOOKS, UMBRELLAS, and MONEY! I believe a
certain fiction of the law assumes a remedy to the borrower; but I
know of no case in which any man, being sufficiently dastard to
gibbet his reputation as plaintiff in such a suit, ever fairly
succeeded against the wholesome prejudices of society. Umbrellas may
be 'hedged about' by cobweb statutes; I will not swear it is not so;
there may exist laws that make such things property; but sure I am
that the hissing contempt, the loud-mouthed indignation of all
civilised society, 'would sibilate and roar at the bloodless poltroon
who should engage law on his side to obtain for him the restitution
of a--lent Umbrella!"
Strange to say, it is a fact, melancholy enough, but for all that
too true, that our forefathers, scarce seventy years agone, meekly
endured the pelting of the pitiless storm without that protection
vouchsafed to their descendants by a kind fate and talented
inventors.
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