In the way of honours, I have received enough to satisfy me for
life. I went out to Mexico, ate pork and beans, slept in the rain
and mud, and swallowed everything but live Mexicans. When I was
ordered to go, I went; 'charge,' I charged; and 'break for the
chaperel'--you had better believe I beat a quarter nag in doing my
duty.
My competitor, Swan, is a bird of golden plumage, who has been
swimming for the last four years in the auditor's pond at 5000
dollars a year. I am for rotation. I want to rotate him out, and to
rotate myself in. There's a plenty of room for him to swim outside
of that pond; therefore _pop_ in your votes for me--I'll _pop_ him
out, and _pop_ myself in.
I am for a division of labour. Swan says he has to work all the
time, with his nose down upon the public grindstone. Four years must
have ground it to a _pint_. Poor fellow! the public ought not to
insist on having the handle of his mug ground clean off. I have a
large, full-grown, and well-blown nose, red as a beet, and tough as
sole-leather. I rush to the post of duty; I offer it up as a
sacrifice; I clap it on the grindstone. Fellow-citizens, grind till
I _holler enuff_--that'll be sometime first, for I'll hang like grim
death to a dead African.
Time's most out. Well, I like to forgot to tell you my name. It's
Daniel; for short, Dan. Not a handsome name, for my parents were
poor people, who lived where the quality appropriated all the nice
names; therefore they had to take what was left and divide around
among us--but it's as handsome as I am--D.
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