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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"A Damsel in Distress"

And--well, that would be about all, wouldn't
it?"
George pulled himself together.
"Hello!" he said.
"Why do you say 'Hello'?"
"I forgot I was in London. I should have said 'Are you there?'"
"Yes, I'm here."
"Well, then, what does it all mean?"
"What does what mean?"
"What you've been saying--about butter and pompanos and wall-paper
and my den and all that? I don't understand."
"How stupid of you! I was asking you what sort of wall-paper you
would like in your den after we were married and settled down."
George dropped the receiver. It clashed against the side of the
table. He groped for it blindly.
"Hello!" he said.
"Don't say 'Hello!' It sounds so abrupt!"
"What did you say then?"
"I said 'Don't say Hello!'"
"No, before that! Before that! You said something about getting
married."
"Well, aren't we going to get married? Our engagement is announced
in the Morning Post."
"But--But--"
"George!" Maud's voice shook. "Don't tell me you are going to jilt
me!" she said tragically. "Because, if you are, let me know in
time, as I shall want to bring an action for breach of promise.
I've just met such a capable young man who will look after the
whole thing for me.


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