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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"A Damsel in Distress"

For Albert not to
lie about a thing, practically proved that thing non-existent. Such
was the simple creed of Keggs.
He accosted a passing fellow-servitor.
"Seen young blighted Albert anywhere, Freddy?"
It was in this shameful manner that that mastermind was habitually
referred to below stairs.
"Seen 'im going into the scullery not 'arf a minute ago," replied
Freddy.
"Thanks."
"So long," said Freddy.
"Be good!" returned Keggs, whose mode of speech among those of his
own world differed substantially from that which he considered it
became him to employ when conversing with the titled.
The fall of great men is but too often due to the failure of their
miserable bodies to give the necessary support to their great
brains. There are some, for example, who say that Napoleon would
have won the battle of Waterloo if he had not had dyspepsia. Not
otherwise was it with Albert on that present occasion. The arrival
of Keggs found him at a disadvantage. He had been imprudent enough,
on leaving George, to endeavour to smoke a cigar, purloined from
the box which stood hospitably open on a table in the hall. But for
this, who knows with what cunning counter-attacks he might have
foiled the butler's onslaught? As it was, the battle was a
walk-over for the enemy.


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