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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"A Damsel in Distress"


"Have some more cake, Albert," he said ingratiatingly.
The boy shook his head.
"Do," urged George. "Just a little slice."
"There ain't no little slice," replied Albert with regret.
"I've ate it all." He sighed and resumed. "I gotta scheme!"
"Fine! What is it?"
Albert knitted his brows.
"It's like this. You want to see 'er lidyship, but you can't come
to the castle, and she can't come to you--not with 'er fat brother
dogging of 'er footsteps. That's it, ain't it? Or am I a liar?"
George hastened to reassure him.
"That is exactly it. What's the answer?"
"I'll tell yer wot you can do. There's the big ball tonight 'cos of
its bein' 'Is Nibs' comin'-of-age tomorrow. All the county'll be
'ere."
"You think I could slip in and be taken for a guest?"
Albert snorted contempt.
"No, I don't think nothin' of the kind, not bein' a fat-head."
George apologized. "But wot you could do's this. I 'eard Keggs
torkin to the 'ouse-keeper about 'avin' to get in a lot of temp'y
waiters to 'elp out for the night--"
George reached forward and patted Albert on the head.
"Don't mess my 'air, now," warned that youth coldly.


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