I had exerted a moral power
which had long remained lying by perfectly useless. The very idea of
what I had done strengthened and encouraged me. Nor was this the only
impulse given me to proceed in my new pathway, for many who witnessed
my signing and heard my simple statement came forward, kindly grasped
my hand, and expressed their satisfaction at the step I had taken. A
new and better day seemed already to have dawned upon me.
As I left the hall, agitated and enervated, I remember chuckling to
myself, with great gratification, "I have done it--I have done it!"
There was a degree of pleasure in having put my foot on the head of the
tyrant who had so long led me captive at his will, but although I had
"scotched the snake," I had not killed him, for every inch of his frame
was full of venomous vitality, and I felt that all my caution was
necessary to prevent his stinging me afresh. I went home, retired to
bed, but in vain did I try to sleep. I pondered upon the step I had
taken, and passed a restless night. Knowing that I had voluntarily
renounced drink, I endeavored to support my sufferings, and resist the
incessant craving of my remorseless appetite as well as I could, but
the struggle to overcome it was insupportably painful.
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