Again I grieved
the spirit that had been striving with my spirit, and ere long became
even more addicted to the use of the infernal draughts, which had
already wrought me so much woe, than at any previous period of my
existence.
And now my circumstances began to be desperate indeed. In vain were
all my efforts to obtain work, and at last I became so reduced that at
times I did not know when one meal was ended, where on the face of the
broad earth I should find another. Further mortification awaited me,
and by slow degrees I became aware of it. The young men with whom I
had associated, in barrooms and parlors, and who wore a little better
clothing than I could afford, one after another began to drop my
acquaintance. If I walked in the public streets, I too quickly
perceived the cold look, the averted eye, the half recognition, and to
a sensitive spirit such as I possessed such treatment was almost past
endurance. To add to the mortification caused by such a state of
things, it happened that those who had laughed the loudest at my songs
and stories, and who had been social enough with me in the barroom,
were the very individuals who seemed most ashamed of my acquaintance.
Pages:
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40