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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Great Catherine"


CATHERINE. A monarch, sir, has sometimes to employ a necessary,
and salutary severity--
EDSTASTON [Interrupting her petulantly]. Quack! quack! quack!
CATHERINE. Donnerwetter!
EDSTASTON [continuing recklessly]. This isn't severity: it's
tomfoolery. And if you think it's reforming my character or
teaching me anything, you're mistaken. It may be a satisfaction
to you; but if it is, all I can say is that it's not an amiable
satisfaction.
CATHERINE [turning suddenly and balefully on Naryshkin]. What are
you grinning at?
NARYSHKIN [falling on his knees in terror]. Be merciful, Little
Mother. My heart is in my mouth.
CATHERINE. Your heart and your mouth will be in two separate
parts of your body if you again forget in whose presence you
stand. Go. And take your men with you. [Naryshkin crawls to the
door. The soldiers rise.] Stop. Roll that [indicating Edstaston]
nearer. [The soldiers obey.] Not so close. Did I ask you for a
footstool? [She pushes Edstaston away with her foot.]
EDSTASTON [with a sudden squeal]. Agh!!! I must really ask your
Majesty not to put the point of your Imperial toe between my
ribs. I am ticklesome.
CATHERINE. Indeed? All the more reason for you to treat me with
respect, Captain.


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