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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Great Catherine"

Why not, darling? I was an adventurer. I
was a beggar.
EDSTASTON. Oh, you!
PATIOMKIN. Well: what's wrong with me?
EDSTASTON. You are a Russian. That's different.
PATIOMKIN [effusively]. Darling, I am a man; and you are a man;
and Catherine is a woman. Woman reduces us all to the common
denominator. [Chuckling.] Again an epigram! [Gravely.] You
understand it, I hope. Have you had a college education, darling?
I have.
EDSTASTON. Certainly. I am a Bachelor of Arts.
PATIOMKIN. It is enough that you are a bachelor, darling:
Catherine will supply the arts. Aha! Another epigram! I am in the
vein today.
EDSTASTON [embarrassed and a little offended]. I must ask your
Highness to change the subject. As a visitor in Russia, I am the
guest of the Empress; and I must tell you plainly that I have
neither the right nor the disposition to speak lightly of her
Majesty.
PATIOMKIN. You have conscientious scruples?
EDSTASTON. I have the scruples of a gentleman.
PATIOMKIN. In Russia a gentleman has no scruples. In Russia we
face facts.
EDSTASTON. In England, sir, a gentleman never faces any facts if
they are unpleasant facts.
PATIOMKIN. In real life, darling, all facts are unpleasant.


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