At parting, one incident occurred that may as well be
recorded. I had shaken hands with Ethel, speaking a few words of
farewell, and allowing her to infer that we might meet again on the
morrow; then I turned to Susie, and gave her the kiss which I would
have given the world to have had the right to press on her mother's
lips. Ethel saw, and, I think, understood. She stooped quickly down,
and laid her mouth where mine had been. Through the innocent medium of
the child, our hearts met; and then I saw her no more.
_May 3d_.--Of course, it may not be true, probably it is not;
mistakes are so easily made in the first moments of such horror and
confusion; the dead come to life, and the living die. Or, at the worst,
he may be only wounded or disabled. At all events, I decline to
believe, save upon certain evidence, that the poor fellow has actually
been killed. Were it to turn out so, I should feel almost like a
murderer; for was not I writing, in this very journal, and perhaps at
the very moment the accident occurred, that if my wish could send him
to another world, I would not spare him?
_Later_.
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