This excitement was followed by another catastrophe named Minnehaha
Jones, who picked up a couple of soprano songs and screeched them
at us.
Minnehaha is one of those fearless singers who vocalize without a
safety valve. She always keeps her eyes closed, so she can't tell
just when her audience gets up and leaves the room.
The next treat was a mixed duet on the flute and trombone between
Clarence Smith and Lancelot Diffenberger, with a violin obligate on
the side by Hector Tompkins.
Never before have I seen music so roughly handled.
It looked like a walk-over for Clarence, but in the fifth round he
blew a couple of green notes and Lancelot got the decision.
Then, for a consolation prize, Hector was led out in the middle of
the room, where he assassinated Mascagni's _Cavalleria Rusticana_
so thoroughly that it will never be able to enter a fifty-cent
table d'hote restaurant again.
Then Cornucopia Coogan arose and gave us a few select recitations.
She weighs 295 pounds and she was immense.
Just as she started to tell us that curfew would not ring to-night
Uncle Peter winked at me, and we sneaked out and began to drown our
sorrow.
Those musicales would be all to the good if the music didn't
suffocate them.
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