I could not see that this would be
of much use in softening the blow; in fact, I thought all these
delicate false-hoods only made the suspense worse, but I was told
that I was a mere downright English country lass, with no notion of
the refinements such things required with persons of sensibility.
So I told them, if ever I were in trouble, all I asked of them was to
let me know the worst at once. One great pleasure came to the Queen
at this time in the arrival of the Duke of York, who made his way
into Paris, and arriving in the midst of dinner, knelt before his
mother. He knew no more of his father than we did, and the Queen's
urgent entreaty, undertook to go to St. Germain with a letter from
her, asking what Queen Anne had heard from England.
The siege was not so strait but that unsuspected persons could get in
and out, but after all, the poor Queen's anxiety and suspense were
such that Lord Jermyn was forced to disclose the truth to her before
Sir Andrew came back with the letters. She stood like a statue, and
could neither move nor speak till night, when the Duchess of Vendome
came and caressed her until at last the tears broke forth, and she
sobbed and wept piteously all night. The next day she retired into
the Carmelite convent in the Faubourg St. Jaques, taking my mother
with her. As, according to French fashion, I was not to be left to
keep house myself, my mother invited Sir Francis and Lady Ommaney to
come and take charge of me, and a very good thing it was, for we at
least had food enough, and my dear good friends had very little.
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