Then, too, a bullet offers such a brief and easy way, such a pretty
little orifice, through which the weary spirit might seize the
opportunity to be exhaled! If I had the ordering of these matters, fifty
should be the tenderest age at which a recruit might be accepted for
training; at fifty-five or sixty, I would consider him eligible for most
kinds of military duty and exposure, excluding that of a forlorn hope,
which no soldier should be permitted to volunteer upon, short of the ripe
age of seventy. As a general rule, these venerable combatants should
have the preference for all dangerous and honorable service in the order
of their seniority, with a distinction in favor of those whose
infirmities might render their lives less worth the keeping. Methinks
there would be no more Bull Runs; a warrior with gout in his toe, or
rheumatism in his joints, or with one foot in the grave, would make a
sorry fugitive!
On this admirable system, the productive part of the population would be
undisturbed even by the bloodiest war; and, best of all, those thousands
upon thousands of our Northern girls, whose proper mates will perish in
camp-hospitals or on Southern battle-fields, would avoid their doom of
forlorn old-maidenhood.
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