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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"Three Men and a Maid"

Hignett
made out on her lecturing-tour. Did she go big in Buffalo? Did she have
'em tearing up the seats in Schenectady? Was she a riot in Chicago and
a cyclone in St. Louis? Those are the points on which he desires
information, or give him his money back.
I cannot supply the information. And, before you condemn me, let me
hastily add that the fault is not mine but that of Mrs. Hignett
herself. The fact is, she never went to Buffalo. Schenectady saw
nothing of her. She did not get within a thousand miles of Chicago, nor
did she penetrate to St. Louis. For the very morning after her son
Eustace sailed for England in the liner _Atlantic_, she happened
to read in the paper one of those abridged passenger-lists which the
journals of New York are in the habit of printing, and got a nasty
shock when she saw that, among those whose society Eustace would enjoy
during the voyage was Miss Wilhelmina Bennett, daughter of J. Rufus
Bennett, of Bennett, Mandelbaum and Co. And within five minutes of
digesting this information, she was at her desk writing out
telegrams cancelling all her engagements.


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