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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"Three Men and a Maid"


"The principle's the same," said Webster.
"Well what did he do when she found out?"
"She did not find out, sir. All ended happily, and never had the
wedding-bells in the old village church rung out a blither peal than
they did at the subsequent union."
Sam was thoughtful.
"Bribed a tramp to attack her, did he?"
"Yes, sir. She had never thought much of him till that moment, sir.
Very cold and haughty she had been, his social status being
considerably inferior to her own. But, when she cried for help, and he
dashed out from behind a hedge, well, it made all the difference."
"I wonder where I could get a good tramp," said Sam, meditatively.
Webster shook his head.
"I really would hardly recommend such a procedure, sir."
"No, it would be difficult to make a tramp understand what you wanted."
Sam brightened.
"I've got it! _You_ pretend to attack her, and I'll...."
"I couldn't, sir! I couldn't really! I should jeopardise my situation."
"Oh, come! Be a man!"
"No, sir, I fear not.


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