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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"Three Men and a Maid"

"
"I don't think I know him."
"Yes, you do. He's you!"
"Me!"
"Yes, you. You are going to sit at the piano to-night."
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it's impossible. I gave you my views
on the subject just now."
"You've altered them."
"I haven't."
"Well, you soon will, and I'll tell you why. If you don't get up out of
that damned berth you've been roosting in all your life, I'm going to
ring for J. B. Midgeley and I'm going to tell him to bring me a bit of
dinner in here and I'm going to eat it before your eyes."
"But you've had dinner."
"Well, I'll have another. I feel just ready for a nice fat pork
chop...."
"Stop. Stop!"
"A nice fat pork chop with potatoes and lots of cabbage," repeated Sam,
firmly. "And I shall eat it here on this very lounge. Now, how do we
go?"
"You wouldn't do that!" said Eustace piteously.
"I would and will."
"But I shouldn't be any good at the piano. I've forgotten how the thing
used to go."
"You haven't done anything of the kind.


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