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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"Three Men and a Maid"

I asked her to be my wife, and she consented. We both
agreed that a quiet wedding was what we wanted--she thought her father
might stop the thing if he knew, and I was dashed sure my mother
would--so we decided to get married without telling anybody. By now,"
said Eustace, with a morose glance at the porthole, "I ought to have
been on my honeymoon. Everything was settled. I had the license and
the parson's fee. I had been breaking in a new tie for the wedding."
"And then you quarrelled?"
"Nothing of the kind. I wish you would stop trying to tell me the
story. I'm telling _you_. What happened was this: somehow--I can't
make out how--mother found out. And then, of course, it was all over.
She stopped the thing."
Sam was indignant. He thoroughly disliked his Aunt Adeline, and his
cousin's meek subservience to her revolted him.
"Stopped it? I suppose she said, 'Now, Eustace, you mustn't!' and you
said, 'Very well, mother!' and scratched the fixture?"
"She didn't say a word. She never has said a word.


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