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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"Three Men and a Maid"

Let us
confine ourselves to issues of definite importance. What is it, if you
have no objection to concentrating your attention on that for a moment,
that you wish to see me about?"
"This marriage."
"What marriage?"
"Your son's marriage."
"My son is not married."
"No, but he's going to be. At eleven o'clock this morning at the Little
Church Round the Corner!"
Mrs. Hignett stared.
"Are you mad?"
"Well, I'm not any too well pleased, I'm bound to say," admitted Mr.
Mortimer. "You see, darn it all, I'm in love with the girl myself!"
"Who is this girl?"
"Have been for years. I'm one of those silent, patient fellows who hang
around and look a lot, but never tell their love...."
"Who is this girl who has entrapped my son?"
"I've always been one of those men who...."
"Mr. Mortimer! With your permission we will take your positive
qualities, also, for granted. In fact, we will not discuss you at all.
You come to me with this absurd story...."
"Not absurd. Honest fact.


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