Next morning he was up and washed and dressed, all but his jacket and
waistcoat, just as the ten minutes' bell began to ring, and then in
the face of the whole room knelt down to pray. Not five words could
he say--the bell mocked him; he was listening for every whisper in
the room--what were they all thinking of him? He was ashamed to go on
kneeling, ashamed to rise from his knees. At last, as it were from his
inmost heart, a still, small voice seemed to breathe forth the words of
the publican, "God be merciful to me a sinner!" He repeated them over
and over, clinging to them as for his life, and rose from his knees
comforted and humbled, and ready to face the whole world. It was not
needed: two other boys besides Arthur had already followed his example,
and he went down to the great School with a glimmering of another lesson
in his heart--the lesson that he who has conquered his own coward spirit
has conquered the whole outward world; and that other one which the old
prophet learnt in the cave in Mount Horeb, when he hid his face, and the
still, small voice asked, "What doest thou here, Elijah?" that however
we may fancy ourselves alone on the side of good, the King and Lord
of men is nowhere without His witnesses; for in every society, however
seemingly corrupt and godless, there are those who have not bowed the
knee to Baal.
He found, too, how greatly he had exaggerated the effect to be produced
by his act.
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