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Le Fanu, Joseph Sheridan, 1814-1873

"The House by the Church-Yard"

To hear him,
then, one would have supposed that they were actually plotting to make
away with him, and that in self-defence he must smite them hip and
thigh. Then, beside their moral offensiveness, they were such 'idiots,'
and: 'noodles,' and botching and blundering right and left, so palpably
to the danger and ruin of their employers, that no man of conscience
could sit easy and see it going on; and all this simply because he had
fixed his affections upon the practice of the one, and the agency of the
other. For Sturk had, in his own belief, a genius for business of every
sort. Everybody on whom his insolent glance fell, who had any sort of
business to do, did it wrong, and was a 'precious disciple,' or a
'goose,' or a 'born jackass,' and excited his scoffing chuckle. And
little Mrs. Sturk, frightened and admiring, used to say, while he
grinned and muttered, and tittered into the fire, with his great
shoulders buried in his balloon-backed chair, his heels over the fender
and his hands in his breeches' pockets--'But, Barney, you know, you're
so clever--there's no one like you!' And he was fond of just nibbling at
speculations in a small safe way, and used to pull out a roll of
bank-notes, when he was lucky, and show his winnings to his wife, and
chuckle and swear over them, and boast and rail, and tell her, if it was
not for the cursed way his time was cut up with hospital, and field
days, and such trumpery regimental duties, he could make a fortune while
other men were thinking of it; and he very nearly believed it.


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