It isn't what a chap
addles, it's what a chap saves 'at makes him rich.
Sellin' drink has made mony a chap rich, an suppin it has made
thaasands poor. But still aw must honestly say 'at aw cannot agree
wi' teetotalism altogether. If noa men gate drunken, ther'd be noa
need for anybody to sign th' pledge;--an' aw dooant think they goa
th' reight way to get fowk to be sober. They publish papers, but what
use is made on em? Yo hardly iver see a midden emptied but what yo'll
find two or three pieces o'th' "British Workman," or th' "Temperance
Advocate" flyin' abaat; an' they hold meetings an' spend a sight o'
brass o' printin' an' praichin', an' still they doant mak one
teetotaller 'at ov a thaasand. Aw should advise em to try this way.
Let em offer a ?500 prize for him 'at can invent a drink as gooid
takin' as ale--an' one, 'at willn't mak fowk drunk. Chaps mun sup
summat when they're away throo hooam, an it is'nt iverybody's stumach
'at's strong enuff to tak watter, unless it's let daan wi summat; an'
ther is noa teetotal drink invented yet 'at's any better nor Spenish-
juice-watter. They're all like pap.
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